I could be doing so much right now, but I’m not.

shaky:

I’m stuck between wanting:

1. A long lasting relationship with my soulmate who supports me and protects me and is my partner and we are completely bad ass together and in love

2. Wanting to have casual sex and rip out the heart of everyone person I meet

3. Being independent and having a loyal dog while I’m married to my career

(via panda-bro)

I can’t believe they fucking brought him here.

Please stop calling.
We’re sorry for what’s happening but thats why my grandma left him in the first place.
He is a bitter, mean old drunk. He just won’t fucking stop. 
What is my mom going to do about him?
He use to scare the crap outta her when she was younger, because he was crazy when he drinks. 
We want to help, really, but we don’t want him here as much as you do.
He is not my grandpa, he is just some stranger whose my mother’s dad.

interviewer: why do you want this job?
me: i want the kind of job where i could just chill, you know, chill out. collect a check
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27 Aug 14 at 5 pm

agentmlovestacos:

There is no greater Guardians/Parks & Rec gif mashup than this.

(Source: msfili, via angelcavitysearch)

lennon-in-the-sky-with-timelords:

So my cousin was in a gay pride parade and everything in her outfit and makeup was rainbow but she was wearing red contacts and while marching, a protester behind her yelled “You’re going straight to hell” and she turns around to face him with her fuCKING blood red eyes and she says “well duh, I got a kindom to run” and the protester nearly fucking passed out that is her legacy I want to be like her

(via laughcentre)