“The funny thing about introverts is once they feel comfortable with you, they can be the funniest, most enjoyable people to be around. It’s like a secret they feel comfortable sharing with you. Except the secret is their personality”—(via c0gnaclilac)
Today was such a.. not great day but it didn’t end so bad. Got to see my friends from high school and our anime club teacher! She is just as sweet as always. The food was alright, I like cooking the food. The soup was spicy, sort of. I just couldn’t handle it. And my best friend Bryan came! I haven’t seen him in a long time and I feel like such a horrible friend.
God, I missed him.
I forgot how affectionate he was with me. I missed that. I missed his kisses on my head. And him laying his head on my shoulder. And our kind of, sort of hand holding. lol
It was so nice to just be me there without my siblings.
I hope we do something together again soon.
“The years between eighteen and twenty-eight are the hardest, psychologically. It’s then you realize this is make or break, you no longer have the excuse of youth, and it is time to become an adult – but you are not ready.”—Helen Mirren (via secretcoffee)
if you came out of this semester alive & in one piece, celebrate that shit. don’t worry about grades right now. sleep. eat something delicious. buy yourself a present. watch a whole season of your favorite show in one sitting. take a bubble bath. treat yo self. you deserve it.
“I don’t want people to matter to me too much. Sometimes it hurts too much to think about them. Ones you love who don’t love you, ones who are dead or hate you, ones who you think about but never get to be with. I like people but when I get too close, it fucks me up and I can’t get things done.”—Henry Rollins (via exoticwild)
“I’d like to think that I would smile. I’d want to tell you that I miss you so much even if I don’t want you that way anymore. I’d say that I still love you in the kind of way I won’t ever love anyone else. That I would’ve given up everything I was to become who you needed. That I checked my voicemails twice a month for a whole year to resave the recording of you singing. That I’ve still got a bottle of your favorite body spray hidden in my room. That I still dream of you. That I still think about you when I hear certain songs (none of them come on the radio, I just want to torture myself sometimes). That I remember the kiss I didn’t tell anyone about because you were dating my friend. That I regret that we didn’t kiss when we finally got together. That I’ve picked up your clothes from my bedroom floor only to hide them under my bed. That I can’t hear someone say “fuck it” without thinking about you. That I was the only person that finished middle school and high school still loving you. That I’ll probably finish college the same way. But mostly, I hope that I’ll be able to say “I wish you happiness.” And mean it.”—"What If the One that Got Away Came Back?" (#483: May 3, 2014)
“Your 20’s are your ‘selfish’ years. It’s a decade to immerse yourself in every single thing possible. Be selfish with your time, and all the aspects of you. Tinker with shit, travel, explore, love a lot, love a little, and never touch the ground.”—Kyoko Escamilla (via excelsiorsilverlinings)
“All of a sudden two decades have passed and you still have not kissed anyone with tongue, or kissed anyone at all for that matter, or had a 3 AM conversation with someone who would rather look into your eyes for ten minutes straight than talk. You have never worn a lover’s sweater or “forgotten” it at home in your bedroom just so you would have an excuse to see them again. You have never even stood face-to-face with someone who makes your hands shake so hard it feels like they’re both having a separate anxiety attack.
This causes you much guilt and self-blame and sadness but above all, an overwhelming curiosity. Are you really that ugly, that unwanted, that uninteresting, that boring, that no one, absolutely no one, has ever looked at you like the only thing on earth?
The answer is no. The better answer is that someone out there, somewhere in the world, is “wondering what it’s like to meet someone like you,” and they have two decades worth of love stored in their veins like a shoot-‘em-up drug, and they’re just about ready to inject it into someone else’s bloodstream. All you have to do is roll up your sleeves and wait for it to happen.
At times you felt so lonely you could stand at the edge of a cliff with nothing beneath you but air and grass and a long, long way down, and you’d still feel emptier than that canyon itself. Maybe you even danced with yourself alone in your room a few times, arms outstretched around a ghost, pretending someone else’s hands were on your waist, someone else’s eyes boring into yours.
Or maybe you fell temporarily in love with strangers on public transportation, fell in love with anybody who so much as accidentally brushed your hand on the way past. For you, falling in love with dozens of people a day was a coping mechanism for not having anyone to love you in return. But people are not eggs and falling in love with a dozen of them does not mean your shell will remain uncracked. One day you’re going to hit the point where you’re so desperate for human contact that you’re going to snap in half and all your love will bleed out like egg yolk.
But someone out there is eating a bowl of Ramen noodles right now, or putting on slippers, or settling into bed. They are doing all the normal things that you’ve done in your own life. They are just like you. They have cellulite and extra fat in all the wrong places and goals and fears and doubts and bad handwriting.
The truth is that they are just like you, and being just like you, they’re looking for a lover too. They’re what you might call a soulmate.
They think they’re all alone in feeling the way they do, but you’re really both two halves of a whole.
And one day you’ll meet them, bump into them on the street, and your two halves will be put together, and you’ll make one.”—Writings For Winter - For Twenty Year-Olds who have never been loved (via girlsjunk)